“Why does your breath smell of Ari Melber’s cock?” Roger Stone emailed his talk show host pal Randy Credico in April of 2018, perfectly encapsulating the hellscape we find ourselves in today. The Russians ratfucked our election, and the only guys getting punished are a couple of decrepit old hacks currently reciting their inane correspondence in a federal courthouse, trying to persuade a jury that one of these lying assholes is slightly more trustworthy than the other. And they’re doing it using references to “The Andy Griffith Show,” “The Lost Weekend,” and a racehorse named Silky Sullivan whose come-from-behind style made him a big star in 1958. Because these cats are HEP!
Stone is charged with five counts of lying to Congress, obstruction, and witness tampering for his efforts to get Credico not to testify truthfully back in 2017. Even there Stone quoted Nixon’s famous 1973 exhortation to “Stonewall it, plead the Fifth, anything to save the plan,” and ordered Credico to “Do a Pentangeli,” a reference to the 1974 Godfather II movie where a witness recants his testimony before Congress.
Stone’s lawyers, who are really climbing up a greased pole here, have argued that this was simply a reference the comedian’s skill at doing impersonations. He’s an “impressionist,” see? And although he tried to show Judge Amy Berman Jackson his amazing Bernie Sanders — she demurred — Credico went on to testify that he understood perfectly well that Stone was telling him to lie on the stand, saying, “I guess it would be to not — to not recall any of the conversations I had with Roger Stone. Or any of the events that transpired.” Except Credico refused to go along with it, since he was a Sanders supporter and didn’t want to be blamed for putting Trump in office. (True story! Not a joke!)
Which really threw a wrench in the works for Stone, since he told HPSCI that Credico was his go-between with Assange, but they had no written correspondence because his contact “was not an email guy.” And what could be more OK Boomer than claiming to have no written communications with a guy you contacted SEVENTY-TWO TIMES the very day of the testimony? LOL, if you tell the FBI you have no texts or emails, they’ll never find out! Just like that lunatic Jerome Corsi managed to escape scrutiny by having his stepson scrub his hard drive.
Stone’s plan, if you can call it that, was apparently to obscure his contacts with the Trump campaign about stolen Democratic emails and claim that Credico was his intermediary to Wikileaks’ Julian Assange. In reality, his go-between was probably Corsi, but Credico didn’t know that. Hence Credico’s increasing confusion that Stone wanted to shift the blame onto him — “You had nothing to do on any level with Assange as much as you [threw] Hail Marys to guccifer and WikiLeaks and you know it” — and Stone’s rage and desperation when Credico wouldn’t play ball, as laid out in his indictment:
On or about April 9, 2018, STONE wrote in an email to [Credico], “You are a rat. A stoolie. You backstab your friends-run your mouth my lawyers are dying Rip you to shreds.” STONE also said he would “take that dog away from you,” referring to [Credico]’s dog. On or about the same day, STONE wrote to [Credico], “I am so ready. Let’s get it on. Prepare to die [cocksucker].”
Credico isn’t a great witness, having at times claimed to have contacts with Assange either to “one-up” Stone or to “get him off my back.” But Stone’s lawyers have to defend a guy who threatened to kidnap Credico’s dog and file a bar complaint against Margaret Kunstler, Julian Assange’s lawyer and Credico’s longtime friend. Credico claims that threats to drag Kunstler into Stone’s bar brawl are what prompted him to plead the Fifth before the House.
After Judge Jackson reprimanded Stone’s lawyer Bruce Rogow for the slow pace of examination this morning, his colleague Robert Buschel took over the questioning of Credico this afternoon. But he wasn’t able to make much headway either, and was himself chastised for badgering the witness as he tried repeatedly to introduce evidence of Credico’s later contacts with Assange without mentioning that they all took place in 2017 and 2018, long after the election in an apparent attempt to prove that Credico IS TOO Stone’s intermediary. Sadly, neither attorney was able to get the Ari Melber clip introduced as evidence, so Melber’s cock will have to remain a mystery. But Stone was able to stay in his seat all day yesterday without crapping his pants. But there’s more testimony to come this afternoon, so GOOD LUCK, BOOMER!
Follow Liz (AKA your FDF) on Twitter!
Please click here to fund your Wonkette, who is pedaling as fast as we can!